I was a single woman living in a one-bedroom apartment when I felt the pull to foster. I brushed it off. I worked a full time job and in my mind fostering was the most ridiculous thing I could think of in that moment. Why on earth would I attempt to foster as a single woman? Would they even let me foster as a single woman? How on earth do single moms do it all?
I had convinced myself that because I was single and worked a full time job that fostering was certainly not going to be a part of my short or long-term plan. Still, the pull on my heart continued to grow and I couldn’t stop thinking about the children who needed a home. I decided to just gather some information. After all, the worst thing that could happen would be they would tell me, “No. You cannot do this because you are single, you live in an apartment, and you work full time.”
Needless to say I was wrong. 88 days later, which is a record for getting your approval, I was licensed to foster. I was thrust into the fostering world and in the trenches before I really even had to process what was happening.
Fostering while I was single opened my eyes to so many things. Some good, some bad, and some painfully ugly; but the biggest thing being single and fostering did for me was remind me that there is room at the fostering table for those who aren’t in a relationship.
I remember when I got my first placement. I am a planner and there are always so many logistics to work out. Daycare, babysitters, appointments, time off, and just time for myself since I was flying solo at the time. I was four months into fostering when I said YES to two kiddos and I affectionately started us “two babies, one momma.” Just 8 short months later, I had earned the title “three babies, one momma.” I had two toddlers and an infant. I was still working full time. I was still the only adult living in my house and I was fostering as a single mom.
I would like to say that everyday was easy, but we all know that would be a stretch; most days we made it work. How, you may ask? A Village. A tribe. A community. Whatever you want to call it, that is how I made it. There are so many things I could share about being a single foster mom of three kiddos at one time, but let me give you my top five.
All foster parents are rockstars, but going at it single is something that is so dear to my heart because that is how my journey started. It is a beautiful, messy, wonderful, emotional, and worthwhile journey!
*All children’s names are changed for safety