Have you ever considered fostering a teenager?
Maybe you have read all of the books and taken all of the classes but are left wondering which is the best advice for being the foster parent of a teen. In February, Care2Foster hosted a panel of three youth with lived experience in foster care. These youth shared the things they find important in a foster parent. The following list of tips for fostering teenagers comes from that conversation.
10 Tips for Fostering Teens (shared by youth who have lived in foster care)
- Be authentic and care. We can tell if you don’t care about us or if you are just in it for the money.
- Get to know us for who we are. Who I was before I got taken into foster care is who I am. Take the time to find out our interests.
- Don’t stereotype us for being in foster care. We are not the stereotypes that exist. Do not assume that we are going to steal, be promiscuous, or bad because we came to live with you. Having expectations of us before we come into your home doesn’t work out well for anyone.
- Be open minded and work with us. The behaviors or emotions I exhibit are not a reflection of you. They are not personal. Don’t give up on us.
- Find a balance between being overbearing and being hands off. I need independence and connection.
- Understand that it might be hard for us to receive love. Sometimes growth and pushing us to be better people feels like hatred towards us. We might not like learning life skills, but we will come to see the importance of them as we get older.
- Stand up for us when people treat us like an object. You are not our savior, and we are not the same as foster animals. Help others understand the difference and the ways we bring joy to your life.
- Find ways to help us feel special. It is hard living in a new home with new people. The small things you do to make us feel like we have a special bond make a difference.
- Let us help you grow. We’re in this together.
- See the potential in us, and support us in becoming the best version of ourselves.
If you are interested in learning more about supporting teenagers in foster care, you are invited to join Care2Foster Teens. Care2Foster Teens is a space for community, conversation, resource sharing, and learning for anyone fostering teens, interested in learning more, or wanting to support teenagers in foster care. We host a Facebook group, support group, and other ways to connect.
“My parents are probably the perfect example of good foster parents. They were able to see me where I was and where I could be.” ~youth in foster care
“My parents are probably the perfect example of good foster parents. They were able to see me where I was and where I could be.” ~youth in foster care
