“I am going to allow every woman to vent for two to five minutes,
but after that, you have to move into the solution.”
– Dena Garzone, program leader, “Moms Matter”
Dena and Erica’s story is told to celebrate Fostering Great Ideas 15th year of supporting and restoring lives and relationships within the foster care system.
Ten years ago, Fostering Great Ideas had another one of its “great ideas”…
They introduced a new program that had never been done before. Not a program focused on the kids or “the system,” but one focused on the vulnerable women fighting their way back to their kids: the moms. “Moms Matter” would be a program dedicated to equipping mothers with the tools and paths towards reunification with their children. That’s how Dena and Erica met.
In 2015, Dena Garzone built the “Moms Matter” program from the ground up as a CPSS (Certified Peer Support Specialist). A CPSS is basically a fancy way of saying Dena’s been there; she gets it. As a mother in long-term recovery herself, Dena knew the agony of the other moms: losing your kids when you’re already battling addiction to substances and toxic romantic relationships. But just as she found the tools to overcome her circumstances, she was relentless in helping other mothers do the same.
Within the program, most mothers are single mothers and facing a variety of debilitating hurdles: no stable partner or alternatively a toxic and abusive partner; trauma from abuse and/or addiction; mental health struggles including depression and anxiety; living in or on the edge of poverty; juggling a number of state-mandated courses and requirements while working full-time; battling to overcome the stigma of their circumstances; and the list goes on.
“The isolation these women feel is incredible,” Dena says. “Beyond the struggles, there’s the shame, and survival mode is not attractive. Living paycheck to paycheck. A car breaking down can mean homelessness. Women will ask for food stamps, but not mental health support because it can be used against them.” So we can all understand how when so many cards seem stacked against these mothers, it can seem like nothing short of a miracle when they actually find a way through.
The right paths crossing…
Dena met young mom Erica in 2017 during a particularly turbulent time. Erica, who had already faced homelessness, was in recovery for heroin addiction and domestic violence when her DSS case turned private, costing Erica tens of thousands of dollars in lawyer fees. To help Erica overcome relentless obstacles and achieve reunification, Dena organized and prioritized a custom treatment plan – like a checklist for state and court mandates, but also a personal checklist, mom-to-mom, focused on getting Erica to think and act like a problem-solver. “I am going to allow every woman to vent for two to five minutes, but after that, you have to get into the solution. And if you’re not willing to get into the solution, then I’ve got nothing for you,” Dena explained.
This tough love approach changed everything for Erica.
It allowed her to study – and understand – her own trauma responses, and curve her emotions before erupting in ways, and within environments, that could jeopardize her progress and custody rights. Erica shared that “Dena helped me prep for my court dates, for example. She taught me how to show up – not just the way that I dressed at trial, but how I acted. She helped me process my frustration in healthy ways so that I wouldn’t erupt and create more problems for myself.”
Through her hard work and commitment to programs like “Moms Matter” as well as rehab, Erica was finally reunited with her daughter.
And today, there are even more silver linings: she’s happily married to a supportive partner, running three businesses, and celebrating her mother and sister’s sobriety, too. She said she owes so much of that to the empathy she received from Dena. “I don’t think women in the program would open up as much or experience the same breakthroughs if it weren’t for counselors who knew exactly what they’re going through,” Erica said. Dena smiled and nodded as Erica continued: “Today, I can call Dena about my marriage, my work, my friendships. We can talk about anything. It doesn’t have to involve my children, it’s life in general.”
Dena added: “Some women reunify, get their kids back, return to their lives, and never want to think about this period again. But there are other women who learn the value and feel the value of that community. Like Erica, and other women [in the program], they don’t want to leave it. They love it as one of the rare and constant supports in their lives.”
The power of relational bonds…
Listening to Dena and Erica, two women who have really walked through the fire, gives you a sense of the power of relational bonds. How they can be stronger than any trauma or addiction, because they’re forged in the same fire, but bring out the best in us. The best versions of ourselves that want to “move into the solution”, and eventually do.
Moms Matter is a program designed for mothers seeking to reunite with their children, using a peer-to-peer approach providing training and support.
To help fund the important work of healing relationships, you can support “Shine On”, Fostering Great Ideas 15th Anniversary gala on November 7th. Tickets are available at givebutter.com/shine-on-2025
